Swanson Pyramid of Greatness
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HONOR If you need it defined, you don't have it. AMERICA The only country that motion. If you wont to experience other ‘'cultures," use on otlos or o ham radio. BUFFETS Whenever ovaHoblo. Choose quantity over quality. WEAPONS WOOD WORKING WELFARE AVOIDANCE I TEAMWORK SELFISHNESS HAIRCUTS GREATNESS I Work together as if lyour life depended on it...lT DOES! Take whof's yours. 3 acceptable styles: High and Tight, Crow Cut & Buzz Cut. ITSELF I The best rovonge. DISCIPLINE The ability to repeat a boring thing ovor and | over again. ATTIRE Shorts over 6" arc capri pants. Short under 6" are European. SELF-RELIANCE Trust yourself. SUSPICION I SKIM MILK Do nof trust anyone else. That's right It's on hero twice. Avoid if. COW PiG CHICKEN ROMANTIC DEER FISH PROTEIN PROTEIN PROTEIN LOVE PROTEIN (SPORT ONLY!) INTENSITY Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Only idiot recommend that. TORSO Should be thick and impenetrable. |OLD WOODEN SAILING SHIPS! They're beautiful. B.O. Cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice. STILLNESS Don't wasto energy moving unless necessary. SKIM MILK Avoid if. CURSING Thero's only one bod word: I Taxes. If ony other word is I good enough for soifort, it's | good enough for you. FRIENDS One to three is sufficient PROPERTY RIGHTS I Building walls makes They exist. Do not let I you sfrong. Defending them be taken away I them makes you from you. | even stronger. MASONRY CABINS PERSPIRATION A place to rest that is made of logs. Only sweaf during physical activity or love making. No emotional sweating. YOU You are your biggest ally. CRYING Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon PHYSICAL FITNESS FRANKNESS Cut the B.S. CAPITALISM God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor. FACIAL HAIR Full, thick and square. Nothing sculpted. If you hove to sculpt if, that probably means you can't qrow it. LIVING IN THE WOODS livo off tho land. RAGE One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it. SECURITY Secure the land. POISE Sting like a boo. Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous. HANDSHAKES Firm, Dry, Solid. 3 seconds. BODY GROOMING Onfy women shave beneath the neck. SWANSON PYRAMID OF GREATNESS
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